I Can't Believe I Was So Passive!

So, I went home to my vacation home in Tupper Lake, New York, this past weekend. I had lots of fun and definitely had the chance to catch up with my family. An average day at the lake during the winter is very active; we usually go snowshoeing, cross country skiing, or snowmobiling. This past Saturday was one of those days; it had snowed the night before and it was 20 degrees outside. When my mom, dad, and I chose to go snowshoeing up Mt. Cooney, we got ready and headed out.
While we were snowshoeing it was the perfect opportunity to catch up with the rents. So, I took this chance to mention some of the thoughts we have discussed in our African American Literature class. I began talking Barabara Trepagnier's book, Silent Racism. I told them about the discussion we had about the difference to a white person's definition of racism compared to a black person's definition of racism. I also pointed out the unconscious thoughts, feelings, and actions vs. conscious thoughts, feelings, and actions of racism; this is what I told my family was the most intriguing idea to me during our class discussions thus far.
The purpose of bringing all this up was to discuss an issue that has impacted me this semester more than ever and to show my parents that I am learning, haha. But, I also wanted to see their reaction to a discussion about racism. When we reached the top of the mountain, the discussion came to an end because the amazing views grasp every one's attention. So, as I sat on top of the mountain, waiting to go down, I realized that my parents feel the same way as me. I was quite shocked because even though they felt the same, they had never heard about the theory of "silent racism."
Later on that night, it was cocktail hour and I had long forgotten about the talk my parents and I had had earlier that day. When we all were sitting around the fire sharing stories from our different excursions, one topic led one to another and we were talking about men's clubs. When I mean "men's clubs," I literally mean a golf club or any club of that sort that only allows men to become members. No women are allowed in or anywhere around the clubhouse, the golf course, and the paddle/tennis courts. Now I believe these clubs are outright sexist, but don't even get me started on that! What shocked me the most was what they started to say about members within the club?
As my mother mentioned one specific issue she had at my dad's men's club, it was about the time she went there without knowing the circumstance she was getting herself into. She told a story about a time she went to give my grandfather s ports jacket he had needed. When she arrived at the club she walked in the main lounge and sooner than later she was arm locked by two black men and escorted out the door.
While I listened closely to what she had been saying, I couldn't help but notice that she said, "Two black men." I stayed tuned into the conversation about the club and suddenly learned about the cook they had there. The cook was a German man, and as I was told, he was a true supporter of the Nazi's. This was all a shock to me. Like, why did it matter that the two men to escort my mom out have to described as black, or why did everyone find it okay to be laughing about the cook who supported the Nazi's? This whole conversation got me thinking, does everyone really feel the same way as me when it comes to being racist?
Well, I was lying in bed when I came to the conclusion that no one will really be aware of how racist they might be in situations like the one above unless someone like us can actively approach the situation. What I should have done was ask my mom, "Does it make a different if he was black or white?" And what I should have asked my dad was, "Has the cook being a Jewish hater caused any specific person from joining the club or have you and the guys ever thought about hiring another chef?" When I lied in bed I could only think about these questions I should have asked and wonder if they would have made a difference in the way my family was being unconsciously racist?